Ghostly Sex and Paranormal Orgasms
A
lecturer on the paranormal was addressing a class of university
students. He began, "Today I'm going to discuss so-called ghosts.
Before I begin, may I ask how many of you believe ghosts are real?"
About
100 hands went up.
"That's
about typical," said the lecturer. "Now, how many of you
believe you have seen ghosts?"
Several
dozen hands went up.
"Again,
that's about typical," said the lecturer. "How many of you
have talked to ghosts?"
About
5 hands went up.
"Very
good," said the lecturer, "about what I expected. Finally,
some people claim ghosts come to them in their sleep and have sex with
them. How many of you think you've had sex with ghosts?"
Only
one hand went up.
"Hmm,"
said the lecturer, "would you please come up to the front of the
room, so we can discuss this in front of the whole class?"
The
young man went to the front of the room.
"This
is amazing," said the lecturer. "You're the first person I
ever met who would admit that he thinks he's had sex with ghosts. Would
you tell us the details of how it happened?"
"Ghosts?"
said the young man, "Oh shit, I thought you said goats!"
____________
This
joke illustrates a good point in the discussion of ghosts
and sex. We
don’t bat an eyelash anymore regarding either sex or ghosts. We can
read about ghostly
prostitutes having spectral orgies in a former
brothel-turned-lingerie shop and not even think twice while reading it.
We can explore the stories about ghostly virgins roaming the halls of
old castles and manor homes, nearly skimming over the descriptions of
their siren calls and seductive summoning manner. Many tales of ghosts
include the sensual telling, but as is often the case, human beings are
drawn to the sensational, so much of the time, the telling is skewed.
Or
if personal experience stories are more to your liking, then you can
join a woman named Jenn, who writes a sex column and poses the question
– Did I have
sex with a ghost? Or you could join this Ecuadorian
woman who claims the same… that she’s had repeated sex with a
ghost. Or, you could just read a ghost
story or two and attach some fantasy if you felt so inclined.
Once
in a long while, you’ll hear of a tale and wonder if it might have a grain
of truth. Ghost
stories, legends, suspenseful tales or lusty encounters with spectral
lovers… all these can fuel the imagination beyond our capacity to
understand why the human condition begs smokes and mirror behavior. We
beg to be scared. We WANT to be jolted.
We pay money to watch movies that could conceivably cause us to
wet our pants. Why do we do this? And
why do we often add an element of sex to the spookiness of it all?
What
is the connection between sex and fear? Some theorize that both states
create the same basic responses in our body. We perspire, our breathing
quickens, we prepare ourselves for the dynamics ahead, etc.
The only thing that fear adds is an element of fight or flight
control. We are ready to flee. That isn’t to guarantee we can.
But all in all, sexual excitement and fear have many common
physical commonalities. This begs the question of orgasms in a movie
theatre, but that is another article.
So,
here we have our bodies responding to some ass in a red striped shirt,
sporting an Edward Scissorhand type glove, or a hockey mask and janitors
uniform, or a ghost posing as a housekeeper from Victorian England,
taking care of your children, each form of fear-inducing stimuli take us
that one step closer to orgasm.
Am
I understanding this correctly? Maybe that’s why my partner and I are
explosive in bed following a night out at the horror films? (Having just
now considered the possibility, we may just want to increase our
entertainment budget.)
As
a way to honor those who become the stuff of legends, The Darwin
Awards describe their archives as “honoring those who improve
our gene pool... by removing themselves from it. These men and women
gave their "all" in an effort to improve the human species. Of
necessity, the honor is generally bestowed posthumously.”
And
who can resist a good ghost
story? Not me. And
these links will send you to some of the most incredible evidence of life
beyond death you can imagine, although the stories of sex with
ghosts seem few and far between. Some folks in Zanzibar weren’t
impressed by their sex-crazed
ghost. This ghost appears to sodomize males. Or you could sample the
legend of the Horny
Toad of Bangkok. Strange but perhaps with a vein of truth running
through it.
Well,
that’s some reading for you, links to poke around in and some fun to
be had. I don’t know
about sex with ghosts. Might be kind of fun. But I do know that for as
long as human beings have existed, ghosts have haunted our thoughts and
shadows. Some people believe and others don’t, but just like your car
keys, I don’t have to believe in the keys for them to exist.
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Copyright 2003
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