Mae West

I USED TO BE SNOW WHITE BUT I DRIFTED
An interview with the legendary Mae West

Sex Scrolls: Ms. West, tell our readers: what do you think made you so irresistible?

MW: Honey, I was irresistible because I may have lost my reputation but I
never missed it. You know, when a girl goes wrong - men go right after her.
And he who hesitates is last.

SS: You can level with us Ms. West; do you have "the real goods"? Or did
your wardrobe boy die with secrets on his lips?

MW: Mmmm, if I recall correctly, he died with his lips around a man from
Poughkeepsie. And he was definitely using one of my secrets when he
passed. Mmmm, yes. As for my 'real goods', well, I'm 100% female and I'm
always real good.

SS: Where did the phrase "come up and see me sometime" come from?

MW: Originally, it was "Why don't you come up and down with me sometime?"
But you know those Hollywood censors. They had to change it a bit. I told
them virtue has its own reward, but it has no sale at the box office. They
didn't care. So I just put the emphasis on the word "up." Mmmm, yes.

SS: Did you ever do more than one leading man in an evening?

MW: Honey, I've been things and done places you wouldn't believe. A hard
man is good to find and I was always looking. Not that it's the man in your
life that counts, it's the life in your man. Let's just say that whenever I
was caught between two evils, I chose the one I'd never tried.

SS: You kept men in their places. For goodness sake, how did you accomplish
that?

MW: Mmm, goodness had nothing to do with it. When I was good, I was good.
When I was bad, I was marvelous.

SS: Some readers will be shocked by those words.

MW: Well, those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.

SS: Confess: how many years did you shave off your age after 30?

MW: Darlin', the only thing I ever shaved was my bikini line. And a
handsome man's face.

SS: What did you enjoy most about your work?

MW: Mmmm, getting to play. I was always a working girl: I used worked at Fox
all day and then Paramount all night. Oh, yes.

SS: Do men fall at your feet in Heaven now, too, Ms. West?

MW: Honey, why in the hell do you think they call it Heaven???

SS: Would you share a tip about sex with our readers?

MW: Certainly. Good sex is like good Bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, then you'd better have a good hand.

____________________________

Mae West was channeled by
eclectic Goddess, emily moorehead