Quotes on Sex and
Sexuality
by S Rkr
There are a number of mechanical devices
which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these
is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P.J. O'Rourk
Sex and golf are the two things you can
enjoy even if you're not good at them. ~ Kevin Costner, Tin Cup
The only thing wrong with being an
atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm. ~ Author
Unknown
Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with
sex as an average man. ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook,
1960
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this
week. ~Author Unknown
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen.
Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is
playing a practical joke? ~ Rita Rudner
When authorities warn you of the
sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not
have sex with the authorities. ~ Matt Groening
Don't worry, it only seems kinky the
first time. ~ Author Unknown
Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two
things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The
other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you
should save it for someone you love. ~ Butch Hancock
"If God had intended us not to
masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter." ~ George Carlin
The art of life lies in taking pleasures
as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are
they always moral. ~ Aristippus
I think I could fall madly in bed with
you. ~ Author Unknown
The big difference between sex for money
and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs less. ~ Brendan
Francis, Playboy
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is
using the whole chicken. ~ Author Unknown
We have reason to believe that man first
walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. ~ Lily Tomlin
Conservatives say teaching sex education
in the public schools will promote promiscuity. With our education
system? If we promote promiscuity the same way we promote math or
science, they've got nothing to worry about. ~ Beverly Mickins
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Sex is one of the nine reasons for
reincarnation... The other eight are unimportant. ~ Henry Miller
Pussy Galore: My name is Pussy Galore.
James Bond: I must be dreaming. ~ Goldfinger
Masturbation: the primary sexual activity
of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the
twentieth, it's a cure. ~ Thomas Szasz
Sexual intercourse is kicking death in
the ass while singing. ~ Charles Bukowski
Free Hughy? No! Free Porn ~ Unknown
(60's)
If we define porn as any message from any
communication medium that is intended to arouse sexual excitement, then
it is clear that most advertisements are covertly pornographic. ~ Philip
Slater quotes
There is nothing wrong with going to bed
with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they
should draw the line at goats. ~ Elton John
It's very difficult to fail at porn. ~
Michael Chabon quotes
Sex without love is merely healthy
exercise. ~ Robert Heinlein
I love sex. It's free and doesn't require
special shoes. ~ (Anonymous)
Porn is the unconsciousness of culture,
the libido of humanity." ~ Unknown quotes
I think sex is better than logic, but I
can't prove it. ~ (Anonymous)
Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or
vice versa. ~ Dorothy Parker
Sex is God's joke on human beings. ~
Bette Davis
"In high school, I dressed up as
every James Bond girl. I was a teenage Pussy Galore." ~ Winona
Rider
Its avowed purpose is to excite sexual
desire, which, I should have thought, is unnecessary in the case of the
young, inconvenient in the case of the middle aged, and unseemly in the
old. ~ Malcolm Muggeridge, on porn, Tread Softly For You Tread On My
Jokes
I read so many bad things about sex that
I had to give up reading. ~ Anonymous
Some mornings, it's just not worth
chewing through the leather straps. ~ Emo Phillips
Being with a woman all night never hurt
no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a
woman that does him in. ~ Casey Stengel
The difference between pornography and
erotica is lighting. ~ Gloria Leonard
Mission Statement is a dense slab of
words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that
its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn"
~ Dave Berry
It is not economical to go to bed early
to save the candles if the result is twins. ~ Chinese Proverb
Chastity: The most unnatural of the
sexual perversions. ~ Aldous Huxley, Eyeless in Gaza, 1936
There's only one good test of
pornography. Get twelve normal men to read the book, and then ask them,
''Did you get an erection?'' If the answer is ''Yes'' from a majority of
the twelve, then the book is porn. ~ W. H. Auden
Joe: Do you think that piece of jewelry
the Arwen gives Aragorn is a artistic representation of elf pussy? Tim:
To me pretty much everything is an artistic representation of pussy.
Alright alright.....unless it's part of a dude.
Obscenity is whatever gives the Judge an
erection. ~ Author Unknown
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The good thing about masturbation is that
you don't have to get dressed up for it. ~ Truman Capote
"There's no shortage of pussy- it's
just the delivery system that's messed up." ~ Dr. Roy V. Schenk
"Masturbation is like
procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only
fucking yourself."
The tragedy is when you've got sex in the
head instead of down where it belongs. ~ D.H. Lawrence
Love is not the dying moan of a distant
violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring. ~ S.J. Perelman
There is nothing like early promiscuous
sex for dispelling life's bright mysterious expectations. ~ Iris Murdoch
This is paradise, I'm tellin' ya. This
town like a great big pussy just waiting to get fucked. ~ Tony Montana (Scarface)
I'm all for bringing back the birch, but
only between consenting adults. ~ Gore Vidal
A woman occasionally is quite a
serviceable substitute for masturbation. ~ Karl Kraus
No one has ever died from an overdose of
porn. ~ J. Money and P. Tucker
Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled. ~
Harlan Ellison
My father told me all about the birds and
the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was
twenty-one. ~ Bob Hope "Sexual material. You must be 18 to enter.
Please read this disclaimer"
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